


Solution

by TK_DuVeraun



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Chaotic Dumbasses, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, M/M, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 16:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_DuVeraun/pseuds/TK_DuVeraun
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is stupid and doesn't make any sense. Which means that Felix must be imagining the flower petals he's coughing up.





	Solution

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Will You Dance With Me? by Kato_Jiku](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20551310) please go read that support other creators!

Felix had two methods of problem solving. Method one: kill it. Method two: ignore it, usually by conducting more training. There was a third method reserved for Dimitri or Sylvain that consisted of “insult it,” but it never bore results and was more of a morale tactic. When he first coughed up a handful of flower petals he engaged in both immediately. First, he crushed them to colorful smear in his palm and then he went off to beat a training dummy until he forgot all about them.

It was a few days before he experienced the problem again. At least, a few days until he was forced to acknowledge it and not just kick the offending plant matter away. Unfortunately, fate’s cruelty had him spit out an entire flower in the middle of dinner with the Professor. She blinked, picked up a red petal with two fingers and turned it over.

“You dry the petals before making tea,” was all she said. She wiped her fingers on a cloth napkin and returned to her meal. 

Ingrid, on the other hand, dropped her fork and her jaw, staring at Felix like he’d grown a second head. “Felix! When did this start?”

He attempted method two, shoving as much fish in his mouth as he could without looking ridiculous, but Ingrid just leaned across the table until she was standing and pressing her forehead against his. “Shut up, Ingrid. It’s just some roses.”

“Roses?” Her voice doubled in volume. “Roses? Do you have any idea what this means?”

“That you’re loud and annoying?”

“I’m being serious! You have Hanahaki Disease and it’s roses!”

Half of the army was staring at them. “Will you be quiet! You’re making a scene.”

“And you’re going to die unless someone,” Ingrid grabbed the remaining petals and shoved them in his face, “who doesn’t even know you exist falls in, ugh, true love with you! How did this even happen? Only silly girls with air between their ears get Hanahaki.”

At that, Felix threw down his silverware and stormed out. He knew the training hall was too obvious a destination, so he went down the cemetery to practice his kata in silence. The moon was only half-full, but he didn’t need it to practice. He’d never even heard of Hanahaki Disease. Whatever it was, it sounded stupid, so of course Ingrid with know after reading so many ridiculous knight stories.

“Was it Annette’s turn to cook again? The dining hall was chaos a minute ago.”

In a move that was completely intentional, Felix swung his sword to rest against Sylvain’s throat. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey now, it wasn’t me this time. I was actually studying.” He held up his ink-stained hands as proof. “I went to catch a late dinner, but there was a lot of yelling until they noticed me… I’ve been around long enough to know to bail when the room goes silent when they see you.”

He scoffed and lowered his sword. “Ingrid went off about some nonsense called ‘Hanahaki Disease’ and that got everyone in an uproar.”

“Whoa, whoa, back up. Ingrid has Hanahaki? And the hall went silent when  _ I _ walked in? That’s impossible.”

“How does everyone know what this stupid illness is?”

“It’s only the pinnacle of noble romantic tragedy. A fair, young lady is desperately in love with a dashing knight, but forced into an arranged marriage. Then she coughs up flowers for her beloved until she dies.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Apparently not, if Ingrid’s got it.”

“Ingrid doesn’t-” Felix was interrupted by a round of coughing. He spat out an entire rose onto his palm. 

“Holy shit, Felix you’re dying!”

“I’m not-”

“How long has this been happening?”

“A few weeks now-”

“A few weeks?!” Sylvain threw his gauntlet to the ground and put his hand on Felix’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re burning up! Did you at least see Mercedes?”

“No, I didn’t because I’m not sick with some stupid, fanciful, imaginary illness!”

Sylvain grabbed his wrist and shoved the flower up to his face. “Does this look imaginary to you? And I hate to break it to you, but that red smear on your hand is blood, not flower juice.” He sighed. “Come on. Let’s go see Mercedes. I know better than to ask who you’re in love with.”

Felix wrenched his arm away. “What does that have to do with anything anyway?”

“Where have you been? Under a rock?” When he only glared in response, Sylvain continued. “Fine, it’s because the only cure is true love’s kiss from the object of your affections. You know, of the two of us, I’d expect me to get it, not you. Despite your prickly nature, girls fall over themselves to be with you. If you could just set your pride down long enough to say who it was, you’d be better in no time.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you, though? Even I noticed that you’re sleeping in later. Are you slower at practice? Lose your breath faster? Tightness in your chest?”

“This isn’t about pride. Pride is meaningless.”

Sylvain withered. Gently, ever so lightly, he took hold of Felix’s arms. “I know I’ve said it before, but… Glenn deserved better. He shouldn’t have wasted his life for honor or whatever crap people keep telling you.”

“I know,” the words didn’t come out as forceful as he wanted. “This isn’t about Glenn, or pride or anything else. It’s just some stupid mass hallucination brought on by the war.”

“Alright… Then you can just… Humor me?” He moved one hand to Felix’s neck. “If you had to kiss someone, if your life depended on it, and I’m not saying it does, but if it did, who would you pick?”

Felix dropped his gaze. “This is foolish.”

Sylvain’s bare thumb rubbed under his ear. “And it’ll all be over as soon as you give me a name. I’ll make sure everyone leaves you alone about it.”

He sheathed his sword and threw his arms up. “This is stupid.”

“Please?”

“Since I know the next part of this is you actually making me kiss them, obviously you’re the only option.”

Sylvain just barely touched his cheek with two fingers. His voice was so quiet, it was nearly lost to the night. “Hey, I know you just want to ignore this, but if it’s not the person you care about it’s not going to work. I don’t want to push you, but I don’t want our promise to end over something so… preventable.”

“I already gave you the answer,” Felix growled. He grabbed Sylvain by the collar and yanked him down and smashed their lips together. Their foreheads and teeth cracked and clacked together, but that discomfort was nothing compared to the pleasant warmth shooting through his veins. He fisted the hair at the nape of Sylvain’s neck and held him in place as they figured out the best angle for their faces. 

“Felix-”

“If you want to keep doing this, you’re not going to talk.”

\---

Aside from a long, harrowing weekend of expelling the root system from his chest, Felix never encountered another rose again.

Except as  _ constant _ gifts from Sylvain.

Disgusting.


End file.
